If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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