i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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