Please, let me fuck your mom
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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