The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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