somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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