He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
