He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
