Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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