there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
