I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
