When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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