So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
