Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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