Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
