I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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