hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
