my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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