His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
