Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
this boner is exhausting
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
