Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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