i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
