I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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