How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
