Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
