That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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