Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Send help, water and tortillas.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
