Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
