Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
