watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
