My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
