i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
