Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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