Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
