yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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