If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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