At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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