been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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