Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
