WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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