He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize