scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
