She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
