As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
