Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize