genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Farmville is her only friend.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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