Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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