I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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