Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
