I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
