Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
