He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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