Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
