i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
