Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
