Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
