I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
