What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
